Vita Detestable

Elliptical promises
Stretched thin and full of holes
Form a chain that shackles me
To this version of you that
I despise more with
Every uncovered lie

I keep waiting, staring at the clock
With my bags packed in the closet
Shoes on without socks
For the exact right time to leave
But, the clock ticks too slow
It ticks and ticks and ticks
And ticks and ticks and ticks and un-ticks and then…

It is time for dinner
And the kids are hungry
And the dishes need washing
And cat needs fed
And I find myself standing in a long line made of one
That twists and turns before me
With innumerable lists and checks and maybe if’s
And all I can seem to do is barely hold on

I await rebirth;
Dreading it
Needing it
Hoping that somehow this
Awakening of sweaty sawed off madness
Will steel my nerves and
Harden my resolve
And escort me to the places deep inside myself
That I cannot go alone