Vita Detestable

Elliptical promises
Stretched thin and full of holes
Form a chain that shackles me
To this version of you that
I despise more with
Every uncovered lie

I keep waiting, staring at the clock
With my bags packed in the closet
Shoes on without socks
For the exact right time to leave
But, the clock ticks too slow
It ticks and ticks and ticks
And ticks and ticks and ticks and un-ticks and then…

It is time for dinner
And the kids are hungry
And the dishes need washing
And cat needs fed
And I find myself standing in a long line made of one
That twists and turns before me
With innumerable lists and checks and maybe if’s
And all I can seem to do is barely hold on

I await rebirth;
Dreading it
Needing it
Hoping that somehow this
Awakening of sweaty sawed off madness
Will steel my nerves and
Harden my resolve
And escort me to the places deep inside myself
That I cannot go alone

The Third Option

A woman, strange in her bones,
Dirty knees, clean dishes, broken Amarillo
snow globe in rum, run, row
Snow, snow, snow, whoa, wrist, twist
-Red hat, red heart, red heat, red glee

Three-Five-Seven equals strawed berries
Berries carry on a tree,
Three, Three, Three, Three, Three, Tree
Tree, Tree, Tree,
Liar, liar, fence on fire!
Pop rocks- rock talks, talking hands, talking heads, head phones,
Phone home-
Unplugged phones won’t sing…
(But you never call.)
Three is prime. Prime time-
My time! Prime time in the sunshine, baby!
BBQ and family makes us happy, but
It also gives me indigestion.
– Indigestion and indignation.
Indigenous nation of three, minus me.
Naturally, we dance on the grass,
In the morning, early warning,
(Before the yard gets sleepy, see?)
Praise Jesus and pass the ketchup!
-Whateverittakestomakeyoufeelbetteraboutshuttingthehellup!
Oh, Jesus pleasus, ain’t got no time. No prime,
No time, salt and lime,
-thain’t one o’ mine.
Robot garbage, mechanic change, candy canes
Canes are knickers, knickers are optional
Optional is rational but not logical and reasonable
And reasonable is no good.
No good at all.
Two packs, Jack and three of those
-Whose picture put this here?
Dad, mad, glad, sad, had, BAM!
I had a dad.
Dad’s had.
He’s papering the wall.
wall, fall, tall, small, gall, gall, gas, glass,
Glasses in the rosebush,
But there were no fish,
-no rain, no fish, no gain, no dish
(rabbit, bear, hare and fish,
give the bastard my fondest wish)

Three, three, tree, tree, five and dime
Dime’s also prime. But not ten.
And not one.

No…

Anything at all is better than one.

Subzero

Words twist like vines
Twist like wind
Twist like steel
Binding me to a life
Impotent and breathless



I die by degrees
in the subzero waters
of my marriage
What I would give
For heat
For warmth
For the cold ashes in my core
To erupt in a triumphant display
Of primal nature
Burning and blazing and bursting…



Instead, I quietly submit to
The ridiculous sit-com plots
Of our lives…



If I could but allow the possibility
Of a dream
This dusty old android
Would rip the plugs out of the wall
and be human again